While I'm "Weighting"

So, my baby is almost 8 months old and I'm still working on getting back to pre-pregnancy size. I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight but I had gained some weight before I got pregnant so its this weight that I'm working on getting back to. Not to mention, things just aren't the same as they were before : )

In the past, I obsessed over every pound, every bite of food, and every minute spent at the gym. Consequently, all this time and energy I spent trying to control my weight robbed me of some good times. Times I could have spent with my friends or family. Time I could have spent in precious fellowship with my Lord. So much time lost because I was too consumed that I couldn't enjoy the moment. This time around I have a different approach.

This time, I am allowing God to take control of my weight instead of me doing it alone. It's amazing how much time I have now and how liberating it is to let go. Now, don't get me wrong, some days I struggle big time. The other day, a song came to mind and I had to write this down because it spoke to me and to my particular struggle that day.

The song is While I'm Waiting. The verse and chorus really struck me:

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord and I am hopeful
I'm waiting You Lord though it is painful, but patiently I will wait.

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race, even while I wait.

I'm waiting I'm waiting on You Lord and I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You Lord though its not easy, no, but faithfully I will wait.

Man! What words! You see, since I have turned this all over to the Lord I'm waiting, literally. Easy, no its not. But, while I'm waiting, I'm trusting that He will take me to the place I need to be. It may end up that He wants me to be at a size and weight that is larger than what I'm accustomed to, but that's okay. I don't think that anyone says 'boy, that servant of God is chubby' No, not all. And I don't think my close friends would ditch me because I don't look a certain way. And if they do, I keep reminding myself that man looks on the outside appearance but God looks on the heart.

I'm so glad that God speaks to me a lot through music. Some days, I'm not sure if I would even make it through the most difficult of days without it. But, I just felt so empowered to keep hanging on and letting Him be the artist of my body. It's definitely been a learning experience and patience building, but I'm so glad to be here at this point in my life.